4/11/2011

Well, what's been going on.  First thing was that I weighed myself about a week ago and the scales read 248.8lbs.  That brings the grand total of weight lost up to 15.8lbs., I think.

I need to get myself back into gear our official weigh in is happening this Friday. Officially two weeks since we began this little challenge.  The last few days or so I've been a little lax on putting in all my calories, I had a bad date over the weekend and I just felt crappy.

I met a man online (where I usually met 'em) and the first date went great I thought he was a really awesome guy. Then we went out again on Sunday afternoon to a crowded park. The conversation was fine at first, and then for some reason the man got onto a tirade about race.  I'm a white girl and he's a white man.

This man upset me a lot. He told me he wasn't racist several times, but then he used the 'n-word' over and over again. He loudly discusses his opinions for the better part of thirty-five to forty minutes.  I just hate people like this, it makes me so upset.

How can this world ever get to the point that we are all equal and we all get along when you have racist ignorant assholes such as this man running around? I was even more mad at myself. I did argue with his statements, but I did not get up in defiance and out him to the rest of the park as being hateful and wrong. I sat there and took his diatribe and feared that he would be loud enough so that the families (of various races) around us would hear him rant.  I hope no one thought I agreed with him.

I so hate that he put me through that, it was like a flashback to my marriage and it sucked.  I was so upset when I finally made up an excuse to get out of this man's presence I wanted to cry. I was in my car and shaking.

And the worse part was that from last September to January I dated a black man. This man was just so sweet, nice and kind I could never say a bad word toward him, it just didn't work out between us and maybe at another time, another point in our lives I'd be willing to get it another go.

This racist ass that I went on a date with proceeded to tell me about how black men were deceitful and that they would leave their children. He said a black man would hit me sooner than any other man.  He said a black man was just after my money and a notch in the bed post. He said a bunch of other stupid crap that I don't want to repeat.

I took this as a personal insult against my ex-boyfriend, who if he was there with that racist ass he would have been shaking in his boots.  My ex-boyfriend was the stealer opposite off all the things that racist man was spouting.  My ex-boyfriend would be the first to step up and take care of his family, be his sisters, brother or mother. He is college educated and has a good job (better one than racist man) and he doesn't have a whole mess of kids running around. In fact my ex-boyfriend doesn't have any kids running around and I've got three of my own!

It just makes me mad that I wasted my time on this man, that same evening I had been invited to hang out with some friends, I just wished I'd gone.

Well, Mr. Racist has been blocked deleted and ignored. He's gone.  I will mark it up in lessons learned and move on.  Just know if someone wants to step up to this woman you've gotta come up with an open loving heart. I don't need any hatred in my life.  Racist assholes can just step aside. I only want good vibes up in here!

Though for now I think I just need to be single and work on me.

Goals for tomorrow are to track my calories, do one of the work out videos I've saved in my Netflix account (it's actually my father's account but we all share it) to watch instantly and clean the house.  I'm cleaning the house because it really needs it and because it's a good work out.